The BEST Romance EVER!

Starting tomorrow, I will rejoin my sisters in Christ, in a study on what it means to be A TRUE WOMAN according to God, not the world.  I have adjusted my schedule, prioritizing my love for CHRIST and my marriage FIRST, above working out or cleaning my home.  

God has a spectacular design for our womanhood, for who He created us to be, as women.  His pattern is very beautiful, very good, very purposeful, and very very precious to His heart. God wants us, as women, to say YES to His design.  He wants us to recognize the ways in which we messed up His design, when we have FAILED to read His directions word on true womanhood - starting in Genesis 2:7-25.

You are a TRUE woman, when you acknowledge that GOD has the best insight into who you are and HOW you should live. God will do an amazing work of restoration if you are not following his design.  Do you desire this restoration?   

If our culture/society has confused YOU on what it means to be a TRUE WOMAN and what your role as a woman should actually be, I challenge you to view this video.  Actually, I BEG YOU to view this video, BOTH alone, and WITH your husband.  It's so incredible and it lays the groundwork for God's plan and our role as women and God's plan and man's role as men in this life.

Remember, this LIFE is NOT about YOU!  It's about GOD and the ways in which we can and SHOULD glorify and worship HIM for giving us a possible second chance at ETERNAL LIFE - IF WE REPENT AND BELIEVE.

The overall theme of this video is the "differences between the sexes: man and woman and why they exist. It's a lot more than Snips and Snails.  It's about what makes men and women TICK!" ~Mary A. Kassian

MAKE TIME TO VIEW THIS! You can either click on the title "The Genesis of Gender" or view the actual video by pressing the play button.  It is this video that will teach you about The Greatest Romance Ever.

"THE GENESIS OF GENDER"

CHRIST in MY Chaos!

I have finally finished reading "Desperate", by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson.  I, first, thought that no book could top the short chapters, comedy, and realness (not to mention gospel centered) that "Loving The Little Years: Motherhood In The Trenches" provided me with, but then, I read "Desperate" and chapter after chapter I was left sitting there saying "WOW!". When I read each chapter, I truly felt like I wrote the book myself or like the authors had insight into my daily struggles as a momma.  AND THEN... as if those two books weren't amazing enough, I came across a book titled, "Christ in the Chaos" on Tim Challies' Blog.  I shared the book interest with Darren and within 3 days, the book arrived in my hands (+) the accompaniment of a kiss and an "I love you!"  I truly was BLOWN away at the FORWARD and INTRODUCTION alone.  This book will far surpass the first two books mentioned (but please do still read them).  

I beg you to read these excerpts that I highlighted and urge you to buy this book immediately.  It comes at an especially good time for me... SUMMER. Where children's lives get simpler and mothers' lives get busier.  

The Back:  First, check out a small excerpt from the back of the book

"Moms: Stop comparing yourself to others.  Stop striving to meet false expectations.  Stop thinking your performance dictates your worth.  LOOK TO THE GOSPEL.  Find rest, joy, sufficiency, identity & motivation."

AND one "review" from the back...

"Kimm gives us the truth of free grace that unshackles us from trying to be Mom of the Year, and shows us how the gospel changes motherhood from drudgery to joy. I pray each mom who finds this book becomes more aware of how Christ's love for her changes everything about her."

The Introduction:  The forward comes FIRST, in the book, but the intro gives you a small description of what this book is about.  So, I will share the intro's "notes" that I took before the forward's notes.

"This book is for moms who need to hear how the gospel changes motherhood."  

"This book is about what grace looks like for moms specifically.  It's about how Christ gives peace to women laboring under the burden of all those unwritten mom rules.  It's about how Christ sets mothers free to love him.  You will find the chapters of this book are sound, but short.  To the point, but not heavy - just right for the mom who has been up all night with the baby, the mom who only has a few minutes waiting for the school bus, and for the mom who relishes her own bathroom breaks as an opportunity to read a couple of pages even if her toddler spends the whole time pounding on the door.  This book will not weigh you down with another list of things to do, but aims to free you by reminding you of what's already been done for you."

"I need to hear the good news that he lived a perfect sinless life on my behalf because he knew just how much I would make a mess of things.(Which I do on a regular basis.)"

"He knew I could never life a life acceptable to his perfect standard.  So he lived... for me."

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is the only thing you need now in the thick of mothering.  In fact, it's the only thing you ever need.  The gospel will get you through those long nights of newborns crying and those long days of caring for clingy, feverish toddlers. Take the gospel with you on those car trips back and forth from soccer to piano. Let the gospel guide you when you drop your " baby" off at college and he steps forward into your adulthood.  Bask in Christ's love for you and bathe in the outrageous grace you receive day-in and day-out no matter how many times you fail: the gospel will help you find Christ in all that goes on within and around you."

The Forward: The forward was written by a grandmother.  This was perfectly designed because she presses the message home that even though she isn't a mother to young children anymore, she still has her own chaotic heart.  She goes on to explain...

"Heart chaos is the result of a worship disorder, not circumstances."

"Chaos is a worship disorder: it results from worship of myself, my abilities, my plans, me."

"Chaos turns into peace when the PRINCE OF PEACE speaks deeply into your heart and tells you , "Be still.  I am God.  I've got this."

"What you need for your chaotic heart is to remember the gospel."

HOW perfect does this book sound?  I am anxious to begin reading the first chapter now. Aren't you? Come on, stop pretending I'm the only one who perceives their lives as chaotic.  Or even better, stop allow me to think I am the only one with a chaotic heart.  LOL!  Read THIS book.

A Mom: Overcomes, Engages the Battle, Becomes the Hero

In Revelation, the word overcome is used seven times.  When God repeats anything over and over again, it is, more often than not, very crucial to something we are meant to clearly understand. 

One aspect of the word overcome is to prevail.  To mount up over and endure until one conqers the battle at hand, by staying fast until victory is achieved. Hanging in there until the end- this is our story of integrity and faithfulness.  

This, to me, is a picture of what a mother is called to be: a warrior who will not give up or cease to keep fighting the battle for her children's souls.  There are so many battlegrounds in which to fight and prevail - the work of a home, the discipline of your children, the training of their character, thinking of ways to make your life and home interesting and fun, so that your children will have a safe haven in which to spend time, spending hours and hours as a counselor and friend to answer heart questions and to sympathize with hurt feelings, nurturing depth of thought about God, working through dreams and disappointments.  All of these important roles take a great amount of time and energy.  AND not once, but over and over again, consistently pushing against sin and embracing God's truth, until our bodies, souls, and minds are weary.  

The overarching truth, however, is that we are building a legacy of people who will flourish in their lifetime, hold fast to the gospel, and have an impact for the kingdom of God.  Our labor is not in vain: it does defeat mighty strongholds and brings righteousness to bear.  But we will have to run the race well if we intend to reach the goal of our ideals; it will take a continual refreshing and renewing of them in our life.  

Satan knows that the righteousness and faith of the next generation are in the hands of US, the parents, and particularly the moms, who interact with their children every hour of the day. Satan would just love for us to think that our labor is in vain and ineffective and that we are not adequate for the task.  And yet, in every case, overcoming is always rewarded with great blessing (in Revelation).  

Keep this all in mind what temptation takes place and discouragement arises. There will be many times in the battle when you feel you are at your end; the stakes are so great.  God, if you seek Him with your whole heart and commit your ways to Him will help you give to your children a story of a woman who inspired faith, and who built a legacy in her home of righteousness, grace, and truth.  Your children will perceive you as the hero and champion of their lives if you hold fast.  

Considering this as the school year is coming to a close and being a full time mommy to 3 nears, without a break.  THIS IS A MUST TOR EREAD, OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

Additional Ways to Discipline...

My mom used to always say, "Spare the rod, spoil the child!"  As a child, I HATED THAT PHRASE.  Or how about, "This hurts me, more than it hurts you!" "Yea right!!!" I always thought.  But it's true....

Our primary way to discipline, in this home, is biblical... spanking!!!

There are a ton of passages that support our biblical decision.  Knowing we are being obedient to God, when we discipline this way, is so reassuring.  After all, it seems to be that spanking is so unsupported by so many.  WHY?  Yes, I agree, if you are NOT spanking in LOVE, calmly, it is abuse.  It's once been said to me, "You have an outlet.  You spank your child to get that relief."  Uh- no!!!  If you treat your child like a rag doll, aka getting relief, while spanking, then you are doing it incorrectly and you are being DISOBEDIENT yourself.  But, if you truly do it, in love, it's what is commanded of us and it will reap much reward. 

Here a just a few passages that support spanking!

Proverbs 13:24 

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."

Proverbs 19:18

"Discipline your son, for there is hope, do not set your heart on putting him to death."

Proverbs 22:15 

"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13

"Do not withhold ^(A)discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die."

Proverbs 23:14

"If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol."

Proverbs 29:15

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

Often times, Darren and I are NOT as consistent as we would like to be or should be. It basically amounts to laziness or exhaustion from disciplining all day.  I have also found that I can discipline my children differently, as they all require different levels of discipline.  

As Tyson gets older, spanking him has become much more difficult.  Often times, I take his most prized possession away from him instead... his ipod.  Lately, I have chosen to make him RUN HOME OR eat dinner in his room, alone.  These other forms of punishment give both parties (Tyson and I) a moment to diffuse or calm ourselves down and really think about what needs to be discussed.  Although, at the time, NOT funny, looking back at these photos, it really makes me laugh to see him running home or eating dinner alone in his room.  I am reverting back to the "Leave it to Beaver" days.

I stopped the van and made Tyson run home, after being repeatedly disobedient, in the van, on the way home from the grocery store.  He loved this and thought it was so cool, until he realized how cold it was outside.  It helped him get some aggression/energy out.

After throwing a bowl at his brother's face, as hard as he could, I made Tyson eat dinner in his room, alone, and asked him to think about a better way he could have expressed himself.

I am not afraid of man's opinion on spanking, nor will I hold back this form of discipline to please man!  We are on this earth for one purpose and one purpose ONLY... to please God.  AND so... spanking will remain the overall form of discipline in this home.

Oh and for the record, before and after we spank, we use this opportunity as a teachable moment to teach our children about the gospel and how God disciplined His only son for the sake of our sins.  It's a great way to share the pain Jesus endured for our transgressions.

Hebrews 12:6-7

"For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son whom he receives.  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"

Chores!

I did this last year, but it never stuck. Ty would complain about doing chores, I would be aggravated about having to fight with him, I was never satisfied with the outcome and it just didn't seem worth the battle. That's until I read an email, from our children's director, at church, on how important it is that every child contributes to caring for what God has given to them.

I allowed Tyson the summer off from chores, that's bad, I know, but it was just easier and looked nicer if I made his bed. Haha. I am not sure I'll ever make making his bed one of his chores. I like beds to be made with hospital corners and karate chopped pillows. Have no fear though, Tyson is INDEED going to be contributing to the needs of this home from now on.

Ty is doing his chores but sadly to report it is accompanied with much grumbling, which, i's not going unpunished. He, hopefully, will learn one way or the other that he's NOT going to win this battle. The worst part is that the chores are not even difficult. He's just always been the child that likes to wage war against me :)

So far here are day 1 and day 2's chore lists.

Ashely, please do NOT be offended that I had to remind Tyson to write you a thank note. He is still 7 and needs to be taught these things, especially since his mommy is the world's worst about getting thank you notes out. I hope you still appreciate the thank you. I promise I refused to tell him what to write.

I am making a daily, conscious effort, to hug and kiss my kiddos more often. Please don't judge me that I have to remind myself to do this. It's easier to do with the twins since they are still "babies", but I still don't do it enough. I guess I am such a task oriented person that I am just always going or doing and I don't stop for a moment to smell them, hug them, or kiss them. SO.... I am now forcing Ty to make that same conscious effort with me. He laughed yesterday when I said, "You didn't do chore number 4." LOL! And I did get some extra snuggles.

Okay, well off to do some chores of my own :)