Wednesday, August 1, 2012

In Search for Closure/Saying Goodbye

I finally arrived to New York at 1:00 am. It took about an hour to get to my grandmother's home. I stayed up talking to family until 5 am (realizing, I had been up for a FULL 24 hours). Sunday we had two viewings for family and friends. It was very difficult to see my grandmother lying there lifeless and cold. She did look very beautiful though. Just as I last saw her. I prayed and prayed and prayed over her, holding on to HOPE that she is in His arms. Only HE knows. The funeral was on Monday. Another tough moment. I think I had a total of 6 hours of of sleep in 2.5 days. I was sad to leave NY, but so happy to return home to my family. They waited for me with open arms at MIDNIGHT Monday night. I cannot stop dreaming of this visit to NY. I am awakened by dreams I don't desire to have. :(

Our only childhood memory in New York now gone :( This was my Mema's home. She lived there since my dad was 7.
From Left To Right: Ashley, ME, Morgan, and David: Morgan was so sweet... all four of us were traveling in a car together and she exclaimed, "Can I just interrupt this moment to say how precious this is to me that we are all together in ONE vehicle." Even though the circumstances were awful, I was grateful to be together.
Left to Right: Ashely, ME, Carlene, and Morgan. (Sisters and Step-mom)
I was able to meet the newest member of our family: "TRIPP" aka Daniel Joseph.
My "Mema" left behind 4 children (from left to right: Paul, Jimmy, Salvatore (my dad), and my Aunt Fran who is NOT present in this picture). Paul and Salvatore are twins.
After the last viewing, my sisters and I had the honor of going through some of grandma's belongings (jewelry, china, and heritage items). It was so special to "inherit" them. I was blessed by receiving some of her jewelry, a bible of hers, her wedding album, china, her scarf that she wore everyday in the winter, and a few of her notebooks that had recipes and her favorite scriptures written in it.

On the way to the grave site, the hearse along with the entire procession, stopped by my grandmother's home and left one single red rose on her door step, as a means of saying goodbye. I was the first one to enter her home after the funeral, so I placed the red rose on her bed.
My grandmother was buried with her mother, her father, her husband, her sister, and her brother. "Spampinato" is a definite Italian name. I love my Italian roots.

This was a very difficult day for so many of us.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

I will NEVER forget you my sweet, sweet grandmother.